Kerrey Resigns, Miller Welcomed into Fold
April 20, 2009
We concede a loss in the ongoing struggle of the administration and the collaborationists versus the anarcho-anarchists, who recently referred to themselves as revolutionary time-sperm attempting to wiggle from the withered urethra of the present into the magnetic egg of the future – a transcendence they claim would threaten the gilded totality of domination. Bob Kerrey has resigned. His final statement reflected the small victory of our enemies: “I am a redundant entity. Additionally, I am a redundant entity.”
We regret his departure. As a parting gift, we have bestowed unto him the body of a heavily armed Jesus Christ nailed to a painting that depicts a decapitated student washed up on a beach and handcuffed to a painting, as well as a partial collection of Steven Seagal’s action films on VHS.
We admit this is a temporary setback. But listen: the crazies must surmount a great many time barricades before achieving total victory, whereby the spatiotemporal manifold is negated, the vortex opened, and all allowed in.
Despite the tragic news, we have a gain to declare: Dr. Jim Miller’s formal entry into the combat on the side of collaboration. For a long time he has worked with us as a cloak-and-dagger man, but he never managed to pass himself off very well as a radical, and we’re pleased that he has now blown his cover. It was just in time. We got word that several students had discovered his secret. One student went so far as to issue a video communique wherein she smeared human shit on the cover of Democracy is in the Streets while primally screaming, “Jim Miller is a nostalgic joke!”
We welcome Dr. Miller. We will stand up for democracy: we will protect this man against the self-styled anarchist posse of political thugs with our self-styled collaborative posse of political democrats, the police.
Unfreedom forever. Motherfucking fuck.
– The New School in Collaboration