To help push along the inquiry into the facts concerning the occupation of 65 Fifth Avenue on April 10th 2009, we are offering clear and direct responses to all the questions that the New School Investigation Committee is seeking to answer. We do hope this clears some things up.

On Tue, May 5, 2009 at 4:56 PM, Announce Announce  <Announce@newschool.edu>  wrote:

May 5, 2009

The Chair of the Board of Trustees and the Co-chairs of the Faculty Senate have agreed to form a Committee, to be convened by the Chairman of the Board, to conduct a detailed inquiry into the facts relating to the occupation of 65 Fifth Avenue on April 10, 2009 and subsequent events.

Among the questions we expect our report to inquire into are the following:

1.      How was entry into 65 Fifth Avenue effected early in the morning of April 10?

Through the vortex.

2.      How many persons entered the building at that time?

A risk of lobsters.

(a)     How many were students or faculty of the University?  How many were not connected with the University?

We are all connected to capital; the university is a capitalist enterprise; we are all connected to the university. QED

3.      What was the stated purpose of the entry and how was that purpose communicated?

The effacement of law through an act of divine violence communicated through its very being(-out-of-time).

4.      Did the persons entering the building threaten or cause physical harm to any persons or property in the building?

I remember when the property cried, torrents of saltwater down the gutters of law. “Respect my rights,” the doors sang. “Over my dead body,” whispered the epoxy. “But my texture!” the carpet chanted. “Be my lover,” the paint responded. A family of things, packed together in church. “Shhh! The sermon is about to start,” opened the gates.

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We concede a loss in the ongoing struggle of the administration and the collaborationists versus the anarcho-anarchists, who recently referred to themselves as revolutionary time-sperm attempting to wiggle from the withered urethra of the present into the magnetic egg of the future – a transcendence they claim would threaten the gilded totality of domination.  Bob Kerrey has resigned.  His final statement reflected the small victory of our enemies: “I am a redundant entity. Additionally, I am a redundant entity.”

We regret his departure.  As a parting gift, we have bestowed unto him the body of a heavily armed Jesus Christ nailed to a painting that depicts a decapitated student washed up on a beach and handcuffed to a painting, as well as a partial collection of Steven Seagal’s action films on VHS.

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