Renounce Renounce

TO: Renounce Renounce

An Important Announcement from the Office of the President

April 30, 2009

RE: PURCHASE OF THREE AVALANCHE-HURRICANE TRUCKS

*A Note to the New School Community,*

As Commencement approaches and the academic year winds down, The Office of the President would like to take the opportunity to announce the acquisition of three Russian produced Avalance-Hurricane crowd-control vehicles. As noted in the New York Times clipping accompanying this email, these “anti-democracy” trucks (as they are called by the factory employees who produce them) are shrouded in steel armor, come standard with brick-and-cobblestone-resistant window grilles, sprinklers attached to tanks of pepper spray, speakers that can emit ear-splitting noise, and a joystick-operated water cannon capable of toppling protestors from dozens of yards away.